The eye contact at the coffee maker, the accidental brushing of your hand on theirs–let's admit it, subtle office flirting can be so exciting. When people engage in workplace collaboration all day, it's only natural for many of these relationships to become romantic.
Workplace relationships are built on mutual respect and shared values–which are key to happy and exciting romances. That's exactly why coworker connections thrive.
In fact, a Kickresume study of 1,000 workers revealed that 27% of coworker flings resulted in a serious relationship or even marriage. Another study found that 39% of professionals have dated a coworker at least once during office hours.
Still, don't start flirting just yet with your coworkers.
Though there are many workplace romance benefits, there are also some office crush risks to consider:
HR Policies: HR policies often don't outright prevent dating, but they typically include guidelines or restrictions. For example, some companies require employees to disclose that they're dating someone within the company. Other companies may ban power-dynamic relationships, such as those between a manager and someone at a junior level. Companies like Facebook, Google, and Airbnb changed their policies in 2019 to allow coworkers to date, but a coworker can only ask out another equal-level coworker just one time. Before you try flirting at work, it's important to revisit your company handbook first.
Workplace Gossip: People at work can be nosy, especially considering how much time you spend there. According to multiple studies, workers spend approximately 65% of their speaking time on gossip, and 95% of workers admit to gossiping. Even worse, flirting or dating a coworker can lead to rumors that, sometimes, aren't even true.
Career Setbacks: Romantic fallout can make things messy at work. It can cause the team dynamic to feel awkward, and further gossip can keep you from moving up in your career.
If you don't think a workplace relationship is worth the office crush risks, you can still meet professional singles outside of work.
Flirting at work is an art form that requires care and subtlety. Subtlety is key to keeping things light, professional, and, above all, appropriate. It's an indirect way of flirting that isn't too forward or obvious.
Remember, this isn't just anyone–these are coworkers that you work with every day. According to Kickresume's report of more than 1,000 workers, 54% of respondents rated post-breakup tension and awkwardness as their biggest concern.
These tips minimize office crush risks and make flirting at work more natural and fun:
If you don't want to deal with a discreet workplace relationship or subtle workplace flirting, you aren't alone. Many people prefer to meet people away from work, and our guide on how to meet single men can help!
You don't need to force anything to get into a romantic relationship. According to social psychology and personality experts, 68% of romantic relationships started as friendships.
As friendships naturally grow and develop, trust and comfort will follow suit. This is so important because trust and comfort are the backbone of any romantic relationship–whether it's dating a coworker or not.
Considering whether you want to be friendly vs flirting at work?
If you want to form coworker connections, start with friendship first. It's a great way to feel out your coworkers and see what they're like. Here are some ways to bond and connect with your coworkers in a friendly way:
If things are looking good and you feel the chemistry getting stronger–it's time to transition outside of the office. You're at the home stretch, but remember. Moving things beyond the professional setting requires discretion and respect to avoid any misunderstandings.
It's pretty much everything you've done before, but just with slightly higher stakes.
Feeling nervous? You've got this.
Take a look at our 4-step approach to asking a coworker out:
Before anything, reflect on your previous interactions. This is a good sign if they've been receptive to your conversations and shared a bit about their personal lives. If not, it's best to stop here and not push the boundaries.
Keep it low-pressure by suggesting a hangout instead of a date. You could casually mention, "There's this cool spot I've been meaning to check out. Would you want to grab coffee sometime?" or "I'm going to this event this weekend—no pressure, but it could be fun to hang out."
Even once you make it outside the office, remember that you're still colleagues. It's tempting to act differently, but avoid overly affectionate or intimate behavior that could raise eyebrows, especially during the first few hangouts.
Even if your coworker has agreed to hang out outside of work, this doesn't mean anything definite yet. Be ready for the possibility that things might not develop into anything romantic, and that's okay.
Dating a coworker can be nuanced and complex. If you've developed a crush on a coworker, we hope this post gives you the professional flirting techniques you need.
Good luck flirting at work and making those coworker connections count!
Maria Biz is an expert in the field of dating and relationships with 7 years of experience. Her mission is to help you build successful relationships and find true love.
