I recall how scared I was when I first thought about dating as a parent. After all, it wasn’t just my heart on the line – it was my child’s feelings too. Single parent dating can be a minefield of emotions: excitement, worry, guilt and hope all rolled into one. But in my experience you can protect your child’s wellbeing and still have a go at love.
I used to worry about how to date with kids without losing track of nap times and soccer practices. It helped me to be honest with friends and family and let them know I might need a sitter every now and then. Sometimes I’d ask a friend to watch my child for an hour so I could pop into a coffee shop. Simple moments like that allowed me to feel a spark with someone new without feeling like I was abandoning my child.
Taking time for yourself doesn’t mean you’re a bad parent. In fact I found that a little break to chat with another adult would recharge me and I’d return to my toddler with renewed patience. Dating with a toddler isn’t always easy but it can be done in small steps that keep everyone’s comfort in mind.
I’ve learned that honesty is gold when meeting someone new especially if you’re dating a man with a child or dating a girl with kids. Children are a big part of who we are so pretending otherwise never feels right. Being upfront about your situation sets the tone for a better bond later on. Same when you’re the one stepping into a relationship with someone who already has a child. It’s good to talk about what each person expects rather than hoping things will just fall into place.
Sometimes though the biggest challenge is the fear of how your child will react. I get that. That’s why I waited until I was sure about the person before I set up any meet-and-greet. I found casual outings – like a quick trip to the park – worked best when I let my child interact with the new person. If it clicked we could build from there. If not I still had a fun day out with my little one.
On the other hand if you’re dating someone with a kid a respectful approach helps. Pushing for instant closeness can make the child uncomfortable and put pressure on the parent. I once dated a guy who wanted to meet my child straight away which honestly made me nervous. I suggested we wait until we both felt solid about our relationship. That patience made the first meeting smoother and built trust.
I used to feel guilty. I’d worry that going out on a Friday night meant I was letting my child down. Over time I realized that looking after my own happiness made me more patient, more fun and more present when I was at home. It’s good for kids to see their parent building friendships and finding joy. After all our children learn about caring relationships by watching the people closest to them.
Looking back I’m glad I took the leap and dated with kids in the picture. It taught me I could be a devoted parent and let someone special into our lives. If anything it made me more able to juggle and handle life’s demands with humor. Dating a girl with kids or dating a guy with a child might be tough at first but a thoughtful approach can lead to real warmth.
Ultimately it’s about remembering you matter too. Be clear, patient and kind and single parent dating can lead to closeness that works for you and your child. I hope my story proves it can take time but it can happen. Keep your heart open, trust your gut and remember you have every right to be happy like everyone else.
Maria Biz is an expert in the field of dating and relationships with 7 years of experience. Her mission is to help you build successful relationships and find true love.
